Itâ€™s hard to describe how I feel right now.Â Part of me is hurt by the fact that I felt this school would have been a great fit for me.Â Part of me feels my chances of getting in to at least one school are still good.Â Don’t get me wrong, this feeling definitely sucks right now, but I honestly expected to be more devastated if this were to occur.Â Â Maybe the reality just hasnâ€™t hit me yet?Â I probably wonâ€™t sleep well tonight.Â
I was really anxious getting into work today, and when I got there, I was constantly checking both my phone and my email.Â Around the middle of the day, the â€œBerkeley Admissions Decisionâ€ email popped into my inbox.Â My heart rate started to increase.Â I shouldâ€™ve realized this was a bad sign, but I really thought I would get into this school.Â The link they originally sent was broken, so I just used the regular admissions portal.Â When I finally logged in and clicked on my admissions status, I felt completely empty because of what I saw:
Unable to Offer Admission
I didnâ€™t even get waitlisted.Â I started thinking back to all the parts of my application that I couldâ€™ve improved.Â My GPA and GMAT were fine and I thought my essays were pretty good, but there was definitely room for improvement.Â My interview was okay, and IÂ know I answered some questions really well.Â Â But I definitely couldâ€™ve answered a few of the questions better.Â Maybe my interviewer didnâ€™t think much of me?Â I thought my best asset was fit â€“ from a cultural perspective I knew I would have fit in perfectly within the Berkeley culture.Â Regardless of all the â€œcould havesâ€ and â€œwould havesâ€ I throw out there, the decision is final and my candidacy is over:Â I wonâ€™t be going to Haas this year.Â Now itâ€™s starting to hit me.Â
I think I need to look into building a more detailedÂ backup plan.Â I applied to five schools thinking that surely I would get into at least one.Â But my chances have gotten much slimmer with this latest ding and not going to business school should nowÂ be a serious consideration of mine.
Iâ€™m going to take a long lunch today.Â From now until my next decision, I probably wonâ€™t be blogging much or reading any of the boards.