Verbal Humor for Intelligent Minds

The following puns will not help your GMAT Verbal score.  (In fact I’m sure they violate a number of grammatical rules)  They do, however, provide a much needed break from GMAT studying.

  • No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
  • I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  • A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  • Don’t join dangerous cults:  Practice safe sects.
  • In democracy, it’s your vote that counts.  In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.
  • The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into it.
  • The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from eating too much pi.
  • A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  • Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on a head.”
  • I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then, it hit me.
  • A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, “Keep off the Grass.”
  • A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”
  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  • The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

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